Switzerland: April 18-28, 2004
One of those glorious spring days in Bern where the temperature rose to the high 60’s and the trees, flowers and shops have begun their display of the warmer season-to-come. The Alps in the distance provide a stunning backdrop to my day, as I walked to the Delta office to meet Matthias and Fransi Nowak, pastors of Delta Church in Bern, for lunch. They showed me the new office space they have purchased for the church, and the plans for their hoped-for new house. It is incredibly fulfilling, all these years later, to see such normal developments of growth in people we love. The Delta church family and the Nowak family are both growing, and “old things,” smaller things, this-is-fine-for-now things are being put away–not because they are or were bad, but because they are being replaced with things more fitting with where we have grown up.
Matthias showed me the x-ray of his shattered leg bone, and I saw the screws and metal plate the doctors have used to put all the pieces back together. Not being medically-minded, or strong in the stomach when it comes to body parts and fluids, I was less interested than I ought to have been in his war injury (received in a skiing campaign a couple months ago). He does well on crutches, and I was with him on the second or third day after the doctors allowed him to resume work at 50%.
Walking back to my hotel that afternoon, I decided to stop off at my favorite contemplative location in Bern–some benches overlooking the river that winds down from the Alps. It is the same river along whose banks I go running, as I did later that day, when I’m in town and it is warmer than 60°. I contemplated the condition of the universe for about 20 minutes and concluded it is little changed since the last time I considered it (smile), so I decided to better my jetlagged condition with a quick nap on the bench. Ahhh, much better! I meandered through the Old Town where there are dozens of shops and banks and an open-air market–and a Starbuck’s.
FMI and Europe: What Next?
Sitting at a small outdoor table amidst all the chatting people, all the shoppers and vendors, I started putting on paper many of my thoughts about the future of Foursquare Europe. Though I have no official role here as a rep of Foursquare Missions International) FMI, I am a Board member of Foursquare Switzerland, and Mike Larkin, our missions director, has asked me to share my thoughts with him. Marc Shaw, the current coordinator for FMI in Europe, is returning to the US to become the pastor of a wonderful church in Oregon (Evergreen), and he and Kathy are finishing their long tenure as missionaries stationed in Europe.
They will, we all hope and expect, continue to do extensive missions work in Europe based on their extensive relationships with virtually all the players on the field. But FMI is going to be without a replacement for them, and Mike (along with the Europeans) thinks the time may be at hand to adopt another structure/strategy. Marc has spent so many years developing the foundation and the relationships for a unified Europe–in terms of how National churches get defined and developed, how those churches relate to one another (and FMI), how we introduce interested leaders and local churches to Foursquare, who will govern, what flexible formulas will be used to allocate the limited resources the US church can direct to Europe, etc.
So what’s next? Where can we, where ought we to go in further empowering the National church and local churches in Europe? Those are the questions I have been mulling in my mind for the last several weeks, and I was encouraged to be able to jot down some preliminary concepts. They need lots more refinement and development before they could be called an actual and purposeful proposal to anyone, but it was a good beginning. Just as a painter mulls a visual concept and lays down the basic sketch, then a backdrop (I have no idea whatsoever of the artistic terms associated with painting, and I’m only guessing that artists go through something of the same process), I’m certainly not ready to call my vague renderings a finished painting.
I think I’ll revisit my outdoor spot, my grandé latté from Starbuck’s and my thoughts after lunch on Thursday! Perhaps the illegible scratchings on my notepad will get transformed into a coherent and purposeful arrangement that I can share with my European friends and Mike this week at our conference.
Since going to the doctor several weeks ago, having my blood examined extensively, and learning of the results, I am on a modified diet, avoiding as many trans fats as possible, and doing what I can to moderate swings of insulin that get pumped into my system as a result of sugar in my blood. Much to my surprise, my diet of many, many carbohydrates (tortilla chips, Wheat Chex, peanut butter sandwiches, etc.) has been forcing my body into producing lots of insulin because carbohydrates break down into sugar so quickly. There is growing evidence that the real culprits behind cardiovascular disease are insulin irritating the lining of blood vessels and trans fats (hydrogenated oils) found in almost all processed food.
The doctor doesn’t find me in any immediate danger at all, but why put myself at risk with my carbohydrate diet? Additionally–and here’s an irony many of my friends will love–my years of consistent jogging, while having numerous benefits, have depleted my system of many nutrients and upset the delicate balance of electrolytes, etc. The blood test took 7 weeks to return results, so needless to say, it looked at aspects of my blood chemistry I had never even heard existed!
So, my new diet looks much like a low-carb diet with special attention to avoid trans fats, and I find I’m feeling better since starting it–although I was hungry-out-of-my-mind for the first weeks as my body began to detoxify and assume a better balance. That means I no longer enjoy all the pastries I would otherwise enjoy in Switzerland, but I can put extra cream in my coffee…
In History, Not Heart
Kurt Kammerman drove me to the site of this year’s Swiss Pastors’ Conference and the European Conference, a small hotel in a small village named Emmetten, in the Alps above a beautiful lake. What a gorgeous view looking up to the steep, snow-covered Alps that shoot straight up behind the hotel, and looking down over the quaint village and out onto the lake. The traditional location in Swiss folklore for the birthplace of Switzerland is just minutes away.
On the way here Kurt was sharing some of the things he has been learning these last years, and one of his phrases stuck in my mind as an encapsulation of some sad things that happened in my life; he said there is a difference between events in his history and in his heart. If bad things have happened to us, he said, and those painful experiences remain in our heart, they produce a poison in us and create confusion for other people around us: we carry the pain with us and react to new situations in light of old ones. But if we can allow the painful event simply to be something that has happened to us—not denying its reality—then it won’t poison us or others.
It seems like on every front, I am experiencing the gentle reminder from the Lord to be patient, forgiving, long-suffering and kind to everyone, no matter what my history with them–or theirs with me.
Annual Swiss Pastors’ Conference
Except for the Jacobi’s (who are having a baby any day now) and Kristine Kammerman (who had to work and can’t join us till Friday), the Swiss pastors and I met for dinner and a short meeting afterwards. Even though we didn’t have days to share together as we have in the past, the hours we did have were so fabulous–just hearing the varied stories about each of them and their churches. I suppose one can hardly call what we do–eat, laugh, talk together–a conference, it is the way we have been led to bring encouragement into one another’s lives in the midst of this hard and often discouraging work called pastoring.
In preparation for the soon-to-be-happening Foursquare Europe conference, I reminded the Swiss pastors that they were likely to feel a couple of things that could make them sad. First of all, true fellowship among believers is very real and dynamic spiritual force, a power like love, prayer, faith, etc., not just a physical event. Because of its potency and its centrality to ministry (the mark of true believers), fellowship will be attacked by the hater of our soul. The Enemy wants to limit, thwart and otherwise discourage us from it, as much as he can.
Consequently, at most such gatherings of believers, a feeling of heaviness, loneliness, smallness, accusation and inadequacy can pervade the atmosphere, and we often feel intimidated–so much so that we will want to hide, rather than to reach out to other people. The very thing that we most need and want at such times is encouragement and up building and kindness and affection from fellow believers–the spiritual substance of true fellowship. That is why the Enemy works against it. Prophecy is given for edification (building people up), comfort and consolation (letting people know all is not lost); how much more then ought loving fellowship to wrap its arms around people.
Additionally, at large conferences/retreats we will likely experience what I call sympathetic discernment, whereby we “pick up on” what those around us feel, as though we are feeling it ourselves–even when the shoe doesn’t fit our foot. In other words, our fellow delegates might feel discouraged, sad and lonely; that loneliness radiates out in almost perceptible ways, so that we feel it–and wrongly assume that we, ourselves, are lonely. I think it is an operation/function of the spiritual gift of word of knowledge. Evangelists and sign-gift ministries often experience sympathetic discernment when they “feel” pain in their left shoulder during a prayer meeting, and know that the Lord wants to heal someone at the meeting who has pain or injury in their shoulder.
That’s one reason why I used to dread attending Foursquare Convention. Aside from ending up with the sense that I was failing at my job as a pastor (compared to all the wonderful stories I heard from the stage and in one-on-one conversations), I felt lonely, isolated and put to the side because no one reached out and invited me in to their meal table, the chair next to them or for the walk to the next workshop. Though I am usually fairly immune to such feelings, somehow the statement I heard shouted to my inner heart was that I was not wanted by anyone in my denomination. I couldn’t wait to get out of there.
I’ve tried, through the years, to act in a directly opposite manner when I’m at conferences: instead of presuming that I’m the one who is out, I frame my thinking to believe that I am one of the hosts of the party, and I want to go out of my way to welcome and embrace as many as I can. If I remember that everyone feels left out, that we are all orphaned in out hearts, then I can do my part to collect the orphans into some sort of makeshift family. The years I spent wandering the halls of convention centers and retreat sites carved me so deeply and painfully that I never want anyone to feel what I felt. The natural tendency we all have is to sit with and talk with the people we know, but our insecurities and our search for supportive, encouraging fellowship unintentionally leave those outside our circle of friendship feeling left out.
The European conference this year attracted 216 people from 26 nations, and the Swiss church is acting as host–decorating the venue; meeting delegates at bus stations, train stations and the airport; answering a million questions about the Alps and yodeling; preparing snacks and welcome packets, etc. When Volker introduced the Swiss delegates during the evening session, I was so proud to see the way they had intentionally scattered themselves throughout the auditorium, sitting amidst the international guests, rather than huddling together in fear.
Well done Volker, Kurt, Matthias, Marc, Thomas, Martin, Daniel and Kurt for your leadership.
Whew! This has been an exhausting conference, with virtually no time between sessions, and no time to arrange conversations with one another, so what little free time there is gets completely consumed with 4-7 minute conversations with dozens of different people from all over Europe. I love the opportunity to get caught up on people’s lives and to get acquainted with new people/situations. I think we all felt as though we wanted to stop the days and spend hours with one another.
This has been such a profound year for me to reconnect with many long-ago friends in Europe, and I’m so happy to have the opportunity later this year and next to revisit so many of them. With the changes in Europe, and the growing responsibility of existing National Leaders to oversee several nations’ development into registered national works, the need is huge for more pastors from the States to offer assistance, friendship and support. Mike Larkin has made it clear that all US personnel serve under European leadership, and that is going to open up an entirely new era for Foursquare Europe.
Since each country is at a different place in its development, there is no “one-size-fits-all” mentality, but nations like Switzerland, for example, have been asked to care for and nurture the Foursquare pastors, contacts and churches in other countries (Poland, Hungary, Czech Republic, Italy) based on existing relationships with those places. In the past, Marc Shaw undertook to do that job in all the countries, and it is simply too big of a job for any one person to do; that’s why the changes are being made. Much like District multiplication in the US church, these affinity groupings in Europe are intended to increase pastoral care for our leaders and health for our churches.
I had too many conversations to enumerate over the last two days, but they ranged from updates on life, jobs and “how-are-you’s” with many former Interns, to kid questions from Robbie and Claudi (from Germany), to thoughts on church planting for Eric (from Norway), to plans for a mini-retreat on the Black Sea with Mitko and Vania (from Bulgaria) and Nebojsa and Naana (from Croatia) and Natasha and Sasha (from Russia), to developing friendship with Martine and Ellen a twenty-something pioneer couple (from Poland), to summer Intermix possibilities for the oldest son of the Lucero’s (from France)…
As exhausting as it all is, I love every moment of it.
More talks, more meals together, more thank-you’s and more affection. And my grandson, Asher Millikan, was born!!!!
The only thing good about the terrible jetlag last night is that I’m still on California time, and that should make it easier to get back to a zillion emails related to the Presidential Nomination process for Foursquare; I must admit that my mind has been slightly preoccupied on all the decisions the committee must make in the next several weeks.
Everyone who has experienced jetlag (more than one time) has a theory about how to minimize its effects, which consist mainly of uncontrollable wakefulness when one want to sleep, and sleepiness when one wants to stay awake. Despite the threats, protestations or best intentions of one’s will to stay alert or stay awake, depending on what’s needed, one’s body simply will not bow its knee. There are supplements (melatonin) and drugs (Excedrin PM) to aid sleep re-orientation; but for various reasons, none of them appeal to me–and none seem to have helped through the years.
So my theory is simply to try exhausting myself on the way over to Europe, trusting the timeless fact that the body will eventually tire enough to sleep regardless of time zone or time of day. My preferred route to Europe includes two airplane all-nighters–one from SFO to JFK (departing at 10:30 pm and arriving at 6:50 am)–and the second from JFK to Zurich (5:50 pm and 7:20 am respectively). That gives me a final Sunday early morning before church to put in 3 more hours at the office, a relaxed Sunday afternoon and even dinner before heading off to the airport. This Sunday Pamela and I had the delightful opportunity to attend another play written and directed by Stephanie Gallino, an incredibly talented woman who has been in our church for years. I love the stage, and often think I would have enjoyed being in many productions through the years if the Lord had not directed me another way.
Chris and Brenda Miller took me to the airport, and along the way we talked about their new Cluster configuration (the group of 5-6 ICU leaders they advise and disciple) and the complicated issue of how to best relate to people whom they have cared for in the past, but who are now being mentored by “new” Cluster Leaders. Since we inevitably get close to and develop friendship with our fellow laborers, and since our leadership/mentoring sets up a quasi-parental connection between us and those we lead, it can be tricky knowing how to relate after that connection is interrupted or set aside in favor of new connections–for both the former leader and disciple.
I often remember a profound experience I had in 1976, shortly after I had been led by the Lord to discontinue our Tuesday night Bible study. It was during the two years of its existence that I developed the basics of my ministry philosophy, although I would not even had understood the meaning of those words back then. But I learned the primacy of relationship, intentional discipleship, one-on-one ministry, prayer, discernment and deliverance in counseling, etc. for church. I spent countless hours between our weekly gathering on Tuesday night, meeting with the individuals in the group. None of us even thought the word “pastor” but that’s what I was to them.
It was amazing to me the degree to which scripture and pictures and answers would “pop into” my mind as I spoke with my friends about issues in their lives. That “authority” had nothing to do with claims of infallibility or crystal ball clarity; its essence was affection and detection–spotting how the truth of God might be leading loved people into more of their intended inheritance, and out of bondage. My concern/compassion/care for the people in my Bible study was unconscious, and I was not aware of any special insight or authority fro their lives. I merely assumed that everyone functioned with one another in the same way–all of us sharing as best we could with each other.
It was not until after my assignment in their lives ended that I became aware of just how special that “authority” had been for them. Although I continued to encounter and meet with my former charges, something was markedly different: I no longer had many scriptures/thoughts “popping into” my mind for them, and I was keenly aware of (I would almost call it) violating some ill-defined boundary, if and when I was tempted to advise/counsel them in the way in which I had for so long previously.
As I said, none of us would have even thought the words “pastor” or “church” in those days because we were just a bunch of students trying to support one another in our journeys with the Lord. Nevertheless, it was as though they had left my church, my charge (from the Lord to care for those He would put under my watch like a shepherd), or I had resigned as their pastor. It was my final lesson from that incredible and miraculous season–an understanding about how things work in the Kingdom somewhat differently than in the natural arena: God grants a special place in the hearts of leaders for those regarding whom God has given them a charge as to a shepherd, to watch over his/her flock; when the season/assignment is over, the special place reverts to a special memory, but is no longer an active reality.
Moses gives way to Joshua, and sometimes the Lord has to punctuate the point by saying, “Moses is dead.” Some of those who were in the Tuesday night group continued a linkage with me, but that was because we engaged in more ministry together. Those former members of the Bible Study who moved away or joined up with other wonderful ministry groups moved out from my purview, and, hence, out of my “authority” for their lives. Jesus taught me how to relinquish that special place, while still retaining that special memory of all that we had shared together.
But it’s hard to let go. The people in the villages visited by Jesus, consistently tried to keep Him from leaving them to go to other villages. And all of us in spiritual leadership have been sorely tempted with not wanting people who have been in our groups to leave and develop special places in other leaders’ hearts. It’s hard to acknowledge the reality of separation. None of us who truly loved those allotted to our charge or those “over us in the Lord” find it easy to let go, and allow the special place to become a special memory.
If we don’t let it transition, it becomes like surplus manna–fouled and spoiled–and we inadvertently put expectations on one another that cannot be fulfilled. As Jesus put it, “I have other sheep/flocks you know nothing of.” We’ll end up concluding that people who left should have stayed with us, and that will eventually become a conclusion that they have done (are doing) something wrong. Worse, former leaders can end up presuming on the former connection, and unintentionally require things of former sheep that are out of sync with Jesus’ current work in their lives.
As my friend Matthias, pastor of Delta church in Bern, puts it, “As long as people are in my church, I owe them all the proactive attention and care I can give them, but once they leave my church, I feel I have no responsibility for them at all.” It isn’t that I cease to care about those who leave; it is that I cease to care for them. I believe it is especially important for me not to confuse the bonding process between those who leave and the new pastor/leader with whom they are developing new special places.
Tuesday: Arrival in Switzerland
Back to jetlag. After a day on the east coast, I arrived in Zurich and took the train to Bern to check into my hotel to get a few hours of sleep. Much to my dismay, my cell phone (provided for me by Foursquare Switzerland) kept giving me a recording when I attempted to dial any number. Even though I do not speak German, I could translate the essence of the universal-sounding message: this phone cannot be used due to! After finding that my “early check-in” at the hotel had, once again, not translated to a ready room, I asked someone to listen to and translate the recording. A call to Volker and Martin Humm eventually led our investigators to the culprit. Due to an administrative oversight, the bill had not been paid!
But all ended well a couple hours later, and I got into my room with a working cell phone. My daughter Hilary is expecting our 2nd grandchild, a baby boy named Asher Milliken, any day now, so I want to accessible for the phone call should it come while I’m on this trip.
Speaking About Change
Knowing I was in the country for a couple days before the European Conference is to begin, Volker invited me to speak to his leaders about change and “thinking outside the box.” Reminding them that the work is to get the people done, and not vice-versa, if someone has been doing the same ministry job for a long time, they are likely not being stretched, and are probably not as dependant upon the Lord as they were when they first began that job. So, I often ask myself what someone’s ministry assignment is adding to them; just because they are doing great at the job doesn’t mean that the now-routine job is doing as great for them as a newer job might do.
Furthermore, if we as leaders view our primary assignment as the development of people, we must think in terms of promoting those people into increasing levels of responsibility and ministry. If we allow someone to peak at a particular job, and to remain there doing what they have already come to do well, then we are allowing them to stop developing–unless, of course, the very nature of their assignment is so varied and multi-faceted as to require ongoing creativity and obedience. And if that is the case, I would at least be looking at such a leader as someone who ought to be mobilizing lots of other volunteers to help with such a complex and rapidly changing assignment.
But for the most part, church leaders are looking for competence and excellence among their workers. I’m not arguing for incompetence and sub-par, shoddy work, but such ultimate goals about the product, the end-result of the job, must be balanced by an equal focus on the developments in the lives of the producers of that work. What has the Kingdom gained from an excellent program if the workers in that program are not being developed and grown as a result? New challenges, and fresh dependence on the Lord usually come from new assignments, not old ones.
Besides that, if I am going to promote the next levels of leaders, I must first promote those “above” them out of the way! If leaders will do what they are charged with doing (i.e., discipling and sending out), and if believers will do what their supposed to do (i.e., going out), then the Kingdom will grow. Jesus did not say, “I have drawn you to Myself so that you could stay with Me.” He said, instead, “I have drawn you to Myself, so that I can send you out from Me into the world.” And if that early band of believers had stayed together, would the world have been turned upside down? I think not!
